I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
