so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
