the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
