like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
