Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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