Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
