girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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