i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
