He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
