So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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