eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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