you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
