I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
