return my video game
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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