Nicole vs. Life
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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