I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So vagazzling was a success
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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