Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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