what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
