i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize