And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And then he peed in my hair
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