she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
