dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
