No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
