Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
