Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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