I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
