Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
