u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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