Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize