We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
