nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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