You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
