Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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