oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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