Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
