no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
