Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
