just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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