I just pynch a tree in the face
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
