Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
