Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
