I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize