Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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