dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
