I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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