Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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