The maid of honor just puked.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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