I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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