If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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