i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
