what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
