That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize