I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
