Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
