So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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