Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
