I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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