Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
