Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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