Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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